The curtain was open.
"Martin, whatcha doin'?" David asked.
"Uh...." I replied in what will henceforth be known as 'witty quip of the day #1'
"How long have you been standing there?" I asked
"Long enough to become uncomfortable watching you have impure thoughts about the drainage system of the house."
"Great."
My penis and I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel.
"I'll be in my room."
"Sure thing. I've got the new issue of Plumber's Monthly downstairs. Yeah, I know, no interruptions."
Shame, shame, shame.
In my room, I couldn't help but wonder, my indiscretion aside, if plumbing and pipes were, in fact, somehow Goddess Worship related. The endless vaginal tunnel, bending in every which way, a constant source of exploration.
Then again, it might just be a way to make poo be gone.
What do I know?
Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Chapter 1a
I stood there in the shower as the water drained away.
I couldn't help but wonder, as I am sure so many men have wondered, whether
or not my penis would fit in the drain, if it would feel good if I turned the
water on and if I'd have to use some sort of lubrication, not so much for fitting
but just for fun.
I waited too long.
Far too long.
I couldn't help but wonder, as I am sure so many men have wondered, whether
or not my penis would fit in the drain, if it would feel good if I turned the
water on and if I'd have to use some sort of lubrication, not so much for fitting
but just for fun.
I waited too long.
Far too long.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Here she is...Ms. Wheelchair...wait, no, there she is! OOOPS, no, not her...
I wish I could make this stuff up. But I can't. I shit you not, I told this story yesterday and everyone kept waiting for the punchline.
Alas, the punchline is that people are fools...
Alas, the punchline is that people are fools...
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
He shoulda named it Bruce!
Well,I know what I want for xmas. What could be cooler than a robotic shark? Well, other than a flying robotic shark.
Or a buncha dogs that shoot bees when they bark.
I think we're ready for a croc vs shark rematch!
Or a buncha dogs that shoot bees when they bark.
I think we're ready for a croc vs shark rematch!
Monday, April 04, 2005
DDR to lose LBS?
OK, you win. I'll get it. jeez. now will you get off my back?
well, I probably won't get it until I get out of this place, but...
Boing Boing: Health insurers to fat kids: Go play Dance Dance Revolution
well, I probably won't get it until I get out of this place, but...
Boing Boing: Health insurers to fat kids: Go play Dance Dance Revolution
1902!!
It has been said that nothing happened in 1902.
NOT TRUE!! (http://www.scopesys.com/year/)
1902 (28 mar) 27.9 cm precipitation at McMinnville TN (state record): c'mon! Its a RECORD!!
1902 (20 apr) Marie & Pierre Curie isolate radioactive element radium: and signed their own death warrant.
1902 (31 aug) Split skirt 1st worn by Mrs Adolph Landeburg (horse rider): thank you, Ms. Landeburg!
1902 (28 oct) Elsa Lanchester Lewisham London, actress (Bride of Frankenstien) - born: best...hair...EVER!!
1902 (31 dec) Boers & British army sign peace treaty: thank god. I mean, the british would be in real
trouble if they hadn't made peace, given that the Boers are now...uh...I mean, in control of..oh...yeah...
NOT TRUE!! (http://www.scopesys.com/year/)
1902 (28 mar) 27.9 cm precipitation at McMinnville TN (state record): c'mon! Its a RECORD!!
1902 (20 apr) Marie & Pierre Curie isolate radioactive element radium: and signed their own death warrant.
1902 (31 aug) Split skirt 1st worn by Mrs Adolph Landeburg (horse rider): thank you, Ms. Landeburg!
1902 (28 oct) Elsa Lanchester Lewisham London, actress (Bride of Frankenstien) - born: best...hair...EVER!!
1902 (31 dec) Boers & British army sign peace treaty: thank god. I mean, the british would be in real
trouble if they hadn't made peace, given that the Boers are now...uh...I mean, in control of..oh...yeah...
You Can't Hit That On Television
Wow. Has reality tv finally hit the wall? an ethical problem? I mean, this wasn't even on camera. Could producer's have souls? Could this be the last gift from the pope?
Husband's arrest halts 'Wife Swap' production - Thursday, 03/24/05
Husband's arrest halts 'Wife Swap' production - Thursday, 03/24/05
Warrenellis.com � A British Perspective On Schiavo
Thanks, Warren, Justin. Once in a while we DO get it right.
Sorta.
Warrenellis.com A British Perspective On Schiavo
Sorta.
Warrenellis.com A British Perspective On Schiavo
Bill O again!
Now, I know virtually nothing about the pope, but I love mocking Bill O'Rielly. Here's the clip from thinkprogress.org
Recently, Bill O’Reilly has heaped praise on Pope John Paul II. Here is O’Reilly on the Factor last Thursday:
But I do know that I’ve studied this pope as well as I’ve studied anybody. And I can’t find anything, anything that this guy didn’t walk the walk. You know, right down the line. Nobody’s perfect, but this guy was close in his personal behavior and the way he conducted himself.
O’Reilly was not so kind, however, when the Pope expressed his opposition to the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. He launched into this diatribe on the March 12, 2003 edition of the O’Reilly Factor:
But as I’ve said before, I believe also that John Paul is naive and detached from reality. If America does not lead an attack on Iraq, once again, Saddam remains in power and is free to use his anthrax and other terrible weapons as he chooses.
So the pope does not seem to be concerned about that or about Saddam’s behavior in general. Once again, he must know Saddam is a killer. He must know he’s oppressed his own people using murder and torture. He must know that.
[Snip]
Summing up, Jacques Chirac is our enemy, and the pope, well, I don’t know what to think.
Recently, Bill O’Reilly has heaped praise on Pope John Paul II. Here is O’Reilly on the Factor last Thursday:
But I do know that I’ve studied this pope as well as I’ve studied anybody. And I can’t find anything, anything that this guy didn’t walk the walk. You know, right down the line. Nobody’s perfect, but this guy was close in his personal behavior and the way he conducted himself.
O’Reilly was not so kind, however, when the Pope expressed his opposition to the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. He launched into this diatribe on the March 12, 2003 edition of the O’Reilly Factor:
But as I’ve said before, I believe also that John Paul is naive and detached from reality. If America does not lead an attack on Iraq, once again, Saddam remains in power and is free to use his anthrax and other terrible weapons as he chooses.
So the pope does not seem to be concerned about that or about Saddam’s behavior in general. Once again, he must know Saddam is a killer. He must know he’s oppressed his own people using murder and torture. He must know that.
[Snip]
Summing up, Jacques Chirac is our enemy, and the pope, well, I don’t know what to think.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Conversations On Holy Thursday
So I'm hanging out with S and she says her friend J isn't working today because J works at a catholic school and its Holy Thursday.
Me: I've never heard of Holy Thursday (being a heathen jew...and destined to burn in hell...unless you believe the american college of bishops). What is it?
S: Its the day of the last supper.
Me: But its Thursday.
S: Yes. And Christ rose on Sunday. Three days before Sunday is Thursday. Sunday is Easter (the sunday before the full moon in april).
Me (christian scholar that I am): But the Last Supper (well catered) was a Sabbath.
S: Yes.
Me: The Sabbath is on Friday.
S: Yes. Thats how the Catholic Church has structured its Calendar.
Me: But the Sabbath is on a Friday.
S: Yes.
Me: And the Last Supper is a Sabbath. It says so.
S: Yes.
Me: I mean, it says so in The Book.
S: Yes. Thats how the Catholic Church has structured its Calendar. The last sunday before the first full moon in April was important to the druids and so to help convert them, the Church says that Christ rose on that Sunday. Three days before Sunday is Thursday.
Me: But the Lasy Supper is a Sabbath and the Sabbath is on Friday. It says so in, y'know, that book. I've been given to believe that the Church really puts alot of emphasis on The Book.
S: Yes. The Last Supper was on Thursday.
Me: argh.
Actually, this brings up an interesting point (as if this wasn't interesting enough already).
When do 'spin' and propaganda get out of control?
What happens when they become truth?
What happens when you forget how it all started?
I'm pretty sure you get the situation we are currently in.
For example...
1) Bush says: Iraq has WMDs. We must go get them.
2) The UN says: No they don't. You know they don't.
3) Bush says: Yes they do (with a wink and a nod). Here we go!
4) People die.
5) no WMDs found.
6) Bush says: We went in to topple Saddam. (btw, at some dinner function he made jokes about this...which I found to be horrific)
7) People go YAY!
what?????
Why aren't more people pissed about this?
Even GW's supporters should be pissed that their children died for a lie!
oh well.
sucks to be us.
(y'know, they say you get the government you deserve. However, I don't remember raping any nuns recently...)
Me: I've never heard of Holy Thursday (being a heathen jew...and destined to burn in hell...unless you believe the american college of bishops). What is it?
S: Its the day of the last supper.
Me: But its Thursday.
S: Yes. And Christ rose on Sunday. Three days before Sunday is Thursday. Sunday is Easter (the sunday before the full moon in april).
Me (christian scholar that I am): But the Last Supper (well catered) was a Sabbath.
S: Yes.
Me: The Sabbath is on Friday.
S: Yes. Thats how the Catholic Church has structured its Calendar.
Me: But the Sabbath is on a Friday.
S: Yes.
Me: And the Last Supper is a Sabbath. It says so.
S: Yes.
Me: I mean, it says so in The Book.
S: Yes. Thats how the Catholic Church has structured its Calendar. The last sunday before the first full moon in April was important to the druids and so to help convert them, the Church says that Christ rose on that Sunday. Three days before Sunday is Thursday.
Me: But the Lasy Supper is a Sabbath and the Sabbath is on Friday. It says so in, y'know, that book. I've been given to believe that the Church really puts alot of emphasis on The Book.
S: Yes. The Last Supper was on Thursday.
Me: argh.
Actually, this brings up an interesting point (as if this wasn't interesting enough already).
When do 'spin' and propaganda get out of control?
What happens when they become truth?
What happens when you forget how it all started?
I'm pretty sure you get the situation we are currently in.
For example...
1) Bush says: Iraq has WMDs. We must go get them.
2) The UN says: No they don't. You know they don't.
3) Bush says: Yes they do (with a wink and a nod). Here we go!
4) People die.
5) no WMDs found.
6) Bush says: We went in to topple Saddam. (btw, at some dinner function he made jokes about this...which I found to be horrific)
7) People go YAY!
what?????
Why aren't more people pissed about this?
Even GW's supporters should be pissed that their children died for a lie!
oh well.
sucks to be us.
(y'know, they say you get the government you deserve. However, I don't remember raping any nuns recently...)
Finger Food!
CNN reports:
SAN FRANCISCO, California (Reuters) -- A diner at a Wendy's fast food restaurant in San Jose, California, found a human finger in a bowl of chili prepared by the chain, local officials said Wednesday.
"This individual apparently did take a spoonful, did have a finger in their mouth and then, you know, spit it out and recognized it," said Ben Gale, director of the department of environmental health for Santa Clara County. "Then they had some kind of emotional reaction and vomited."
Local officials launched an investigation after the incident Tuesday night and the medical examiner determined Wednesday that the object was a human finger.
Officials are trying to determine whether the finger came in the raw materials Wendy's used to prepare the chili, Gale said.
Wendy's International Inc. corporate office did not immediately return a call for comment. Wendy's is the third-largest hamburger chain.
SAN FRANCISCO, California (Reuters) -- A diner at a Wendy's fast food restaurant in San Jose, California, found a human finger in a bowl of chili prepared by the chain, local officials said Wednesday.
"This individual apparently did take a spoonful, did have a finger in their mouth and then, you know, spit it out and recognized it," said Ben Gale, director of the department of environmental health for Santa Clara County. "Then they had some kind of emotional reaction and vomited."
Local officials launched an investigation after the incident Tuesday night and the medical examiner determined Wednesday that the object was a human finger.
Officials are trying to determine whether the finger came in the raw materials Wendy's used to prepare the chili, Gale said.
Wendy's International Inc. corporate office did not immediately return a call for comment. Wendy's is the third-largest hamburger chain.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Dreaming
So, I heard once that a psychiatrist came up with the idea that maybe dreams didn't really happen during the night.
That we weren't spending a good chunk of the night watching movies in our head.
He thought that maybe what was happening is that our brains were firing all night, and when we woke up, we attempted
to interpret that neural activity, and that gives us images and memories of SOMETHING and we call them dreams.
Then he decided that from a therapy perspective (dream interpretation) it didn't really matter.
Anyhow, I was thinking about that for some reason.
It would, I think, help explain why some people remember their dreams and others don't.
It would, I think, help explain why we tend to only be able to half-grasp dreams, especially if we wake up and start moving.
What it might not help with is lucid dreaming.
For those who don't know, lucid dreaming is when a person is aware they are dreaming, and often they have a certain amount of control over the dream.
What's interesting when you combine these two ideas, is that you come to this juncture of experience (objective) vs memory (subjective).
How could you know?
And how does this sort of idea affect who we are as simply a collection of memories?
That we weren't spending a good chunk of the night watching movies in our head.
He thought that maybe what was happening is that our brains were firing all night, and when we woke up, we attempted
to interpret that neural activity, and that gives us images and memories of SOMETHING and we call them dreams.
Then he decided that from a therapy perspective (dream interpretation) it didn't really matter.
Anyhow, I was thinking about that for some reason.
It would, I think, help explain why some people remember their dreams and others don't.
It would, I think, help explain why we tend to only be able to half-grasp dreams, especially if we wake up and start moving.
What it might not help with is lucid dreaming.
For those who don't know, lucid dreaming is when a person is aware they are dreaming, and often they have a certain amount of control over the dream.
What's interesting when you combine these two ideas, is that you come to this juncture of experience (objective) vs memory (subjective).
How could you know?
And how does this sort of idea affect who we are as simply a collection of memories?
Monday, March 21, 2005
Toys that make you go hm
Boing Boing brings us this.
As I cruised the links, it becomes apparent to me that, even though I am unemployed, some people have even more free time than I do.
As I cruised the links, it becomes apparent to me that, even though I am unemployed, some people have even more free time than I do.
Daily Kos :: Culture of life
I love Daily Kos.
Its not often you find a blog with a sense of humor that doesn't interfere with its politics.
Anyhow, thanks!
Its not often you find a blog with a sense of humor that doesn't interfere with its politics.
Anyhow, thanks!
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Live to file, File to live!
I do, I do,I do.
It says so on my resume.
I am filing.
I am the Tao of filing.
And I have a cat!
It says so on my resume.
I am filing.
I am the Tao of filing.
And I have a cat!
we make money not art: Robots to offer warm welcome at Japan's World Expo
Please please please can I have a fembot??
I'll be good!
Does she come with a leather top?
how about bondage accessories?
A strap on?
please!
I'll be good!
Does she come with a leather top?
how about bondage accessories?
A strap on?
please!
Friday, March 18, 2005
New Scientist Breaking News - Human embryonic stem cells grown animal-free
New Scientist Breaking News - Human embryonic stem cells grown animal-free
What kills me is that these cells (the starter cells that allowed them to grow more) were donated by a couple after Invitro Fertilization. IVF generally takes several eggs and fertilzes them and then puts them into the woman's womb.
If the procedure takes, then, eventually, the extra fertilized eggs are thrown out!
But, somehow that is OK but taking the cells from those potential-lives-now-turned-into-trash is not.
It seems to me that if the christian right (or who ever really seems determined to make sure that stem cell research is permanantly hampered) is all up-in-arms because these fertilized eggs are potential life, then shouldn't they be having frickin' aneurysms because of these trashed eggs?
And, if so, shouldn't fertility clinics be shut down?
Or should the federal government subsidize the indefinate storage of these embryos?
What kills me is that these cells (the starter cells that allowed them to grow more) were donated by a couple after Invitro Fertilization. IVF generally takes several eggs and fertilzes them and then puts them into the woman's womb.
If the procedure takes, then, eventually, the extra fertilized eggs are thrown out!
But, somehow that is OK but taking the cells from those potential-lives-now-turned-into-trash is not.
It seems to me that if the christian right (or who ever really seems determined to make sure that stem cell research is permanantly hampered) is all up-in-arms because these fertilized eggs are potential life, then shouldn't they be having frickin' aneurysms because of these trashed eggs?
And, if so, shouldn't fertility clinics be shut down?
Or should the federal government subsidize the indefinate storage of these embryos?
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